A plea.

Hey everyone, I write to you today for the sake of your children. I've been entering year eight's names in a database and I want to make a passionate plea. Therefore I wish to simply list some rules when naming your children so that they may avoid a life of bullying, and just plain terrible names.

1. Avoid creating 'unique' ways of spelling a common name. Names spelt 'Rebekah', 'Candi' or 'Beki' look cheap and tawdry, and don't give a good initial impression of either you or your child.
2. When naming your little darling, play with their full name (first and last) in the fashion that another small child would. Make fun of the name and see what savoury combinations you can make. If the names come too easily, reconsider the choice.
3. Virtues like Justice, Reality and Charity sound nice as a first name, but if you really want adults to look your wee sweety in the eye and not laugh, consider using said virtue as a middle name. It will no doubt come in handy as a pick up line later!

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but this (dull) yearly ritual often presents classic examples of what I presume is a terrible thing to do to a young adult...

adios for now